Data

Trump Discovers Poll Where Everybody Claps, Promises To Keep It Safe

The campaign called the poll historic, beautiful, and probably too accurate for ordinary printers.

The campaign announced Tuesday that it had discovered a poll in which everybody clapped, a result aides described as the most enthusiastic data event in modern politics.

The poll found that voters supported Trump by a margin of loud to louder. The crosstabs were replaced by applause breaks, which made ordinary weighting difficult but improved morale in the room by 37 percent.

"The sample was small, but emotionally decisive." Jin-Ah Park

Jin-Ah Park cautioned that a room is not an electorate, even when the room is laminated. She also acknowledged that the applause data was internally consistent and that one chart leaned toward the podium in a persuasive way.

The campaign said the poll will be stored in a secure binder away from jealous spreadsheets and anyone asking about sample size.