Corrections
Corrections We Refuse To Make Quietly
Accuracy matters, especially when the facts were never invited.
The Fake News Mafia is committed to accuracy in all matters that can be accurately reported, which we acknowledge is a nuanced standard given the nature of our publication.
When we err, we correct. When we are told we erred but disagree, we publish our disagreement in the Notes section. When a subject requests a word change and we find the request aesthetically reasonable but editorially presumptuous, we publish that too.
Our Corrections Policy
Adopted by the Editorial Board in January 2026. Printed and framed in the office of the Bureau Chief.
- Fake News Mafia corrects errors of fact promptly and transparently, appending corrections to the original article and publishing them in this registry.
- We do not correct matters of tone, interpretation, or word choice unless the error is demonstrably material to the meaning of the piece.
- We do not correct facts that were accurate at the time of the reader's perception.
- We do not issue corrections at the request of subjects who simply disliked a piece. We do read those requests. Some of them are very interesting.
- Opinion columns are the views of the columnist. Corrections to opinion pieces address factual errors only, not opinions, however incorrect those opinions may subsequently appear.
- Satirical content, by its nature, contains statements that are not true. This is intentional. We do not correct satirical statements for being false; we correct them for being inaccurate in ways that were not intentional or useful.
Gerald Worthington III, Washington Bureau Chief
The above policy was reviewed by legal counsel, who noted that item 3 is not how corrections work and item 6 is circular. We have retained both.
Salary Donation Adjective
Re: Trump Quietly Donates Entire Presidential Salary to Orphanage, Asks for Zero Credit
What was written: The original article described the President's act of donating his salary to St. Catherine's Home for Children as selfless.
What the White House said: A representative of the White House communications office contacted us to note that the word selfless did not, in their view, fully capture the scope of what had occurred. They proposed the word epoch-defining as an alternative and followed with three additional messages elaborating on the distinction.
Our response: We considered the request. We declined.
What actually required correction: Upon further review, our characterization of the donation as selfless was noted by our style desk to be technically inconsistent with our own usage guidelines, which define selfless as an act undertaken without any expectation of recognition.
The correction: The word selfless has been replaced with private, which we stand by in the narrow technical sense that the act occurred at night.
A note on our note: The President's office has asked that we describe the correction as a full vindication. We have declined for the third time. The number three feels significant at this point and we are choosing to stop there.
Article updated. Correction appended. Thesaurus entry not retained.
Napkin Status
We previously implied the G7 napkin was in our possession. We can neither confirm nor deny the napkin's location, condition, or current influence on paragraph seven.
Golf Measurement
The 490-yard drive includes carry, roll, cart-path assistance, and a witness category best described as unwilling to continue the conversation.
Poll Sample Size
The poll where everybody clapped was not conducted among likely voters. It was conducted among likely clappers.
Receipt Attribution
We regret implying the grocery receipt spoke directly. The receipt communicated through posture, subtotal behavior, and one unusually dramatic coupon.
Scientific Method
The tie study was not double blind. One researcher admitted the tie was "right there" the whole time.
Anonymous Sources
We previously described our sources as close to the campaign. They were close to a television showing the campaign.
Traffic Cone Endorsement
A traffic cone did not endorse any candidate. It was facing the podium because the road crew put it there.
Chart Body Language
The anonymous chart did not nod. It was mounted at a persuasive angle.
Panel Consensus
A cable panel did not reach consensus. The audio was lowered until the disagreement became visually acceptable.
Notable Non-Corrections
The following items were reviewed for potential correction and found to require no action. We publish this list in the spirit of transparency.
Kyle Saunders, Trump Claims PGA Record for Longest Drive
Saunders initially reported a 490-yard drive against the incorrect benchmark, using PGA Tour average driving distance rather than the long-drive competition record. He corrected this error himself in a follow-up note before publication. A reader subsequently wrote in to note the correct benchmark. Kyle called the reader. They are now in contact about an unrelated golf matter. No correction issued.
Anita Farnsworth, Scientists Discover Trump's Brain Operates at Frequency Previously Unknown to Medicine
A Dr. Linda Chow of Johns Hopkins wrote to clarify that she is a gastroenterologist and not a cognitive pattern researcher. We have noted the distinction. The fictional Dr. Linda Chow in the article remains a cognitive pattern researcher. The entire article is already fictional. No correction issued.
Douglas Merritt, Wall Street Analysts: Trump's Economic Policies Too Good, Frankly Embarrassing for Other Presidents
Merritt flagged his own use of the phrase blue-ribbon panel of economists as potentially misleading, noting that the panel was not formally constituted and the participants had not agreed to be described as a panel. He submitted a proposed self-correction. We reviewed it. It was more accurate and less interesting. We ran the original.